Conclusion

Well I have finally made it to the last post of this blog for Intercultural Communications. At first I was not sure what to think of this class or what I could possibly get out of it. I have to admit I have learned alot. I have learned to think about things in a different light when it comes to the communication with those of another culture. The different ways other cultures view things such as time, non-verbal vs. verbal communications, conflict resolution, and the importance of family influence in how they communicate with others both in their own culture and with those of different cultures. It has opened my eyes to the stereotyping and discrimination that is all around even though most believe these things have come to pass. I thoroughly enjoyed reading the book "The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down". This book gave me new insight into how difficult it can be for those of different cultures to assimilate into our American culture and how we as Americans can do some pretty simple things to make this transition easier for those who are trying to adjust. From the weekly discussion questions to the quotes in the book from the author's past students I enjoyed hearing what other perceptions and feelings are toward the issues in dealing with intercultural communication.

I would recommend this class to anyone wanting to expand their knowledge of other cultures and to gain more understanding to barriers that may need to be overcome. This class is ideal for those who have or desire to have effective communication with those from other cultures. I feel that we all should embrace the diversity that surrounds us and learn to communicate with all we come in contact with so we may learn from the people and these encounters.

Racial Overcompensation?

During the time I have been blogging while taking this class I have brought up stereotyping, racial bias and discrimination quite often. This recently came to mind again during a disagreement my mother and I had over my oldest son. As I have said before he is bi-racial, his biological father being black and I being white. He also has a form of higher functioning Autism called Aspbergers Syndrome. Since I was young when I had him (19) and single she was involved quite a bit during his early childhood. At the time we lived in a small northern Wisconsin town with no other black people and most were racially biased even though they would not admit it. I believe she caused more controversy and bias by trying to defend and protect so to speak than would have happened if she would have said nothing. She has felt the need to defend him and his mixed racial background and now his Autism since his diagnosis when he was 5. She thinks that anything that goes wrong with him is caused from someone discriminating for one thing or another. She has caused undue stress in our family by pointing out to the other children that they shouldn't say this or that because he is black and it might make him feel bad. When in fact I'm pretty sure he really could care less since the comments were pretty simple. For example my 5 year old son once came home from school and said he had a new dark skinned friend. That was the way he chose to describe his new friend and my mom practically tore his head off. I believe that she has created more doubt in my son in certain ways about who he is by trying to "defend" him and who he is.

We recently argued about the medication he takes to help with some of the symptoms he has so he can be more productive in school. She does not believe he should be on any medication and said to me "They probably put all the kids with troubles on medication." and has said "The people at the school probably don't treat him the same because he's part black." This drives me crazy and I think her overcompensation tactics to try and protect him from whatever she thinks he needs protecting from is ruining our relationship as I try to protect him from her ideas.

Tiger Woods

Earlier during our weekly discussion posts we discussed Tiger Woods and how he deals with his bi-racial background and family. We determined that Tiger has been a role model to many especially minorities that anything is possible regardless of your cultural background. Tiger seemed to have a great reputation and seemed like a great golfer, dad, husband and just generally down to earth. With the recent questions surrounding his late night accident and allegations of infidelity I feel there is a lot of disappointment surrounding this. Because of his great reputation and the fact that he is a minority I think he was held up high so to speak. Now that he has broken some of his more ethical reputation of being the "great guy" will he fall into the stereotypical "bad black guy athlete" category?

Let's face it most black athletes that children look up to are usually in some kind of trouble. From sex scandals, drug addictions, alcohol problems and run ins with law enforcement it seems they are always in the news for some negative thing. Tiger was the exception to this until this point. He was the one who proved that not all black athletes were trouble makers and he was deserving to be a good role model. It is kind of sad. I still think he is a great golfer but my ethical viewing of him has decreased. Hopefully all this will pass and he can still continue to be a positive role model for some and admit what really happened.

British Pop Culture

Earlier we studied about pop culture, and as I said then up until this course I really was not sure what exactly pop culture was. Now I realize that just about everything we seen in the media and magazines along with television shows and radio broadcasts can be called popular culture. It is known that the United States is the power house when it comes to pop culture. Many movies and TV shows that are made in the United States are broadcast around the world. Where here in this country we have a channel or two with other countries television shows and programming on it. What brings this to mind was a show I ran across on an American television channel the other night. It was some type of award show for British commercials. Apparently the British are know for their very odd and entertaining commercials. They are also popular as it can be very difficult to determine what exactly they are advertising or promoting during its running time. I think it is good that some other countries are now getting a little of their popular culture into American programming.

Another great example of British popular culture being introduced into our country is that of the woman that blew everyone's mind on the British version of "America's got Talent". She has now made it to the top of the charts here in the United States and has received quite a bit of American media attention. As we start to hear of more and more international musicians and television broadcasts maybe we can start to lose the all American attitude toward pop culture.

Holidays

With the holiday season approaching quickly I have began to wonder if the whole idea of de-christmascizing so to speak in schools is really a great idea. Now I completely understand that not everyone celebrates Christmas, and that they should be allowed to celebrate whatever holiday they want but I think things have gone a little far. I work in an elementary school. There are no more kids Christmas concerts. They have purposely moved them to fall and spring to avoid the holiday season. I remember being a kid and singing all the nice Christmas songs to an audience of parents, it was just part of Christmas. There are no Christmas projects done in art class anymore, and there can't be class Christmas parties anymore, they have to be "winter" parties. There are still the couple of Christmas type projects that we can do, like making gift tags for example. But we have to make sure there is an understanding that they can be any kind of gift tags and say "you can make Christmas tags, if you celebrate that holiday." It is not OK to sing any type of Christmas song that has to do with Jesus or the real meaning behind Christmas, but it is OK to listen to the other holiday songs in different languages since no one can understand them even if they were talking about Jesus, or whatever god that holiday celebrates.

I am all about diversity, expression of ones own beliefs, and learning about all the other holidays that go on in our own country and around the world but it seems that we are no spending so much time making sure we know about and celebrate all the other holidays that we have forgotten about the one that most of us (in my school and situation) celebrate. There has to be a happy medium and at this point I think it has gone too far in the other direction.

Clash of Conflict Resolution Styles

A couple weeks ago we studies about conflict resolution. This brought back a memory of a conflict my husband and I had not too long ago about our ways of dealing with conflict. The actual argument was over something pretty silly; who had read more with our 6 year old recently. The real argument we ended up in was how we handled the fact we were both angry with each other. I tend to want to talk out the problem right away. I will tell my side and expect the other person to tell their side and hopefully if we talk it out a resolution will be decided upon. My husband tends to just not say anything but yet make is known that he is upset with you. He will remove himself for a while then purposly walk through or around what I am doing but not speak or respond to any questions. He likes the "just drop it" phrase but won't lose his attitude he has developed because of the argument. After us each trying our conflict resolution style for a hour or so there was finally the big blow up. We ended up yelling at each other about how we each handled the situation. He didn't think it was a good idea to talk about it right away and I didn't think ignoring it was helping at all. I'm not sure if either of us really accomplished anything out of the incident at all but the study of conflict resolution brought back this memory. We actually both laugh about it now and realize it was pretty silly on both our parts. We were acting the same way that we encourage our children not to all the time. I guess we all have our bad days now and then!!

Cultural Differences

While working on the group culture project I spoke for a while with one of the neighborhood kids who is Hmong. He is now 12 years old. I have known of him for years. He has played at my house with my kids, has been at my neighbor's house when I was there and I knew he was Hmong but never really thought much about it. His house is directly behind mine and I have occasionally seen his parents in the yard doing yardwork. They will always nod or wave but didn't seem to really want to talk or respond if I asked them how they were or something. I talked with the child a little since I needed an interview for the project and learned a little about him and his family. His parents immigrated here in the early 90's with his older sister and he was born in 1997. They also have two other children who are 6 and 3. We had noticed that we rarely see the children out playing and never see the parents out with the children except to chase them down when they "escape" from the house. The boy told me that his parents take good care of them but don't understand the "American" ways much. The children are expected to entertain themselves alot and the older ones have a lot of responsibility in the care of the younger ones. They expect the older kids to also teach the younger ones English as the parents speak very little. They are not allowed to be involved in any extra curricular activites and don't participate in many "american" holidays like Thanksgiving and Halloween. I did notice this year that the older sister brought the younger boys by our house trick or treating. They were not dressed up and just had grocery bags for candy.

I feel bad for these kids in some ways as they don't get the opportunity to experience alot of the things the other kids in the community get to. On the other hand, this is how their culture is used to operating. The parents are not used to having sports and activities available and in their past the care of the younger children has fallen on that of the older ones since they worked long hours farming or working. It would be nice if there could be a meeting place in the middle where they could experience some of what is available but yet hold onto their cultural heritage and beliefs at the same time.